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His voice softened. “That’s understandable.”
Self-recriminations screamed in her head. “I know what you’re thinking. That I was stupid to get involved with him in the first place. That it was my fault.”
“That’s not what I was thinking at all, Rachel.” Johnny shook his head, a lock of his dark hair falling across his forehead. Rachel could barely resist reaching out to brush it back. She’d never cared what anyone thought before, but now she desperately wanted Johnny to see her as a good mother, as a desirable woman, not as a pathetic, weak fool.
“I’d like to erase the pain he caused you.” Johnny closed the distance between them, lifted her hand in his and gently traced his finger over her palm.
Rachel licked her lips, struggling to breathe. “You can’t.”
“Maybe I can,” he said in a gruff whisper. “But you have to let me in. I understand exactly what it’s like to have a father beat up on you. And I know how easy it is to fall for someone’s charms and miss seeing they have their own agenda.”
Rachel remembered the publicity about him and the hint of sexual charges that he’d firmly denied. “The woman in the paper?”
A sound of disgust rumbled from his throat. “Yes. Her name was Gwen. She made claims…”
“That you drugged her to seduce her,” Rachel filled in.
Anguish deepened the grooves around Johnny’s eyes, and for the first time in ages, Rachel forgot about her own problems in the wake of her compassion for him. “For what it’s worth, Johnny, I don’t believe those charges.”
His tormented gaze searched hers. “Why not? Because I donated money to the ranch?” He shrugged. “Some folks would say I’m only volunteering at the BBL as a way to redeem my reputation.”
Rachel curled her fingers into his hand. “They’re wrong. You’ve not only been patient with Kenny, but you’ve been good to all the boys and to me.”
She could easily see how a desperate, troubled woman would use Johnny. Maybe even stalk him as Rex had stalked her. “You’re dedicated and kind and a wonderful role model.”
He’d been firm but fair when that teenaged boy had pulled the prank on her. And from what she’d heard in the dining hall, he hadn’t threatened violence or used his fists, or even cursed.
All things Rex would have done.
Emotions flickered across Johnny’s face, and Rachel’s heart melted. At one time Johnny might have been the arrogant, cocky rodeo star some of the media had portrayed him to be. But he had changed.
And he didn’t deserve to be hurt because of her problems.
JOHNNY’S HEART TWISTED at Rachel’s words. How long had it been since anyone had really believed in him? Not his old man, for sure. And he barely remembered his mother.
She hadn’t wanted him. And his daddy had beat the hell out of him every chance he’d gotten.
By the time he was five, Johnny had known he was no good.
So he’d purged his anger through adrenaline rushes. Roping calves. Bareback riding. Breaking wild horses. On the back of a bull.
And he’d been good at it. Hell, he hadn’t cared if he lived or died. He’d just needed the high to ease the pain of not being loved.
But when he’d first achieved fame, he’d mistaken women throwing themselves at him for love. For true affection.
Then he’d realized they were just infatuated with the rodeo star.
Not the real man.
Could Rachel see beneath the surface and really love him for the man he wanted to be?
“Johnny,” Rachel said, “if you’re worried about my ex finding me and endangering the other boys, Kenny and I will leave in the morning.”
“I don’t want you to go.” He couldn’t let the first woman he’d cared for in years walk away.
“But—”
“We don’t know for sure he did it. There’s Burgess and Copeland, too. They both have motive.” Johnny hesitated. “Meanwhile, Brody’s hiring extra security,” Johnny said. “Do you have a photo of your ex I can give to security so they’ll know how to spot him?”
“No,” Rachel said frantically.
“Then give me his name and a description.”
“I can’t do this…”
Johnny frowned. “Why are you protecting him? If he set that fire, he should go to jail.”
“I’m not protecting him, I’m protecting Kenny.” Rachel clutched his hand, her tone frantic. “He has money. He knows people, has expensive lawyers and cops in his pocket. And I saw an article in the paper today where the judge who granted me the divorce was murdered. I think he did it.”
“Then you have to go to the police, Rachel.”
She shook her head wildly. “No. Even if he is arrested, he’ll be out in a day and then he’ll be even more angry and determined to kill me.”
“I won’t let him get to you and Kenny.” A vein bulged in Johnny’s jaw. “What is his name?”
Rachel took a deep breath. He thought she wasn’t going to answer, but finally she whispered the word “Rex.”
“Rex Simmons?”
She stared at him for a long moment as if debating the answer, then shook her head. “Rodgers.”
Johnny’s chest swelled. She’d trusted him. And for Rachel, her trust was the most precious gift she could give him.
“But please don’t call the sheriff,” Rachel pleaded.
Johnny hesitated. If this Rex guy did have someone in his pocket… “All right, but if he shows up and we discover he set the fire, I’ll have to turn him in. We can’t let him endanger anyone here.”
“Of course not.” She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and gave him a pained look that twisted his heart. “Thank you, Johnny. I just want to protect my son.”
Johnny pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back. “Don’t worry, he won’t hurt you or Kenny, Rachel. Not as long as I’m around.”
She sagged against him, and Johnny held her close. He wanted to take her to bed, to comfort her all night. To make love to her until he erased all the memories of her ex.
But he wouldn’t push her or try to own her like her husband had. Because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing her or her son now. And trying to control or force her would send her running.
RACHEL’S RUNNING DAYS were about to come to an end.
So were her days of whoring around.
Rex bit the inside of his cheek so hard that he tasted blood, his gaze trained on the cabin where he’d seen that rodeo guy with Rachel and his little boy.
Johnny Long was in there now. What was the son of a bitch doing? Ramming himself inside her like some animal?
The thought made nausea climb his throat. He stroked the butt of his gun, anxious to make the man suffer.
But dammit, the cops had been crawling all over the place tonight. The cops and the fire chief.
It was too dangerous.
He wanted them to pay, and they would, but Rex Presley didn’t intend to go to jail for serving justice.
No, he wouldn’t get caught. He was too smart.
He glanced down at the news article about the upcoming rodeo at the BBL, a rodeo starring the one and only Johnny Long.
The rodeo would be the perfect place to strike. There would be hundreds of people around. Strangers. Kids. Families.
It would be easy to blend in.
Then he’d find a way to kill Johnny Long and his cheating wife and take his son with him when he left.
Chapter Fourteen
Guilt pressed heavily against Rachel’s heart as she slipped into her bedroom and closed the door. Johnny had been so good to her and Kenny, had protected them, had saved their lives. He was even going to sleep on her couch to make sure she felt safe tonight.
But she’d just lied to him about Rex’s name.
Tears filled her eyes, and she rushed into the bathroom, buried her face into a towel and let the tears fall. Tears for the mistakes she’d made by marrying Rex. Tears for the life her son had had to lead. Tears of frustra
tion that she didn’t know how to change her situation and give Kenny a better future.
If she confided Rex’s real name to Johnny, he’d inform the sheriff, then he’d learn about the warrant. Rex had so many people in his pocket that she’d go to jail and rot in a cell while Rex took Kenny.
Rex had turned his rage on her. It would only be a matter of time before he turned it on her son.
She wished she’d never come here.
Being on the ranch with these loving people made her realize just how lonely she was. Just how nerve-racking and miserable living on the run had become.
Worse, she’d seen how much Kenny had missed out by not having a real home or a father. By not being able to lead a normal, stable life.
By having to live without friends, and having to lie to the ones he did make.
Then having to leave them over and over again.
Her tears fell harder, and she smothered the sound, but a sense of hopelessness filled her. She wanted to stay here with Kenny and let him be a cowboy and learn to ride and be in the rodeo.
And she wanted to be whole again. To not cower or run away if a man touched her. Damn Rex for doing that to her.
Johnny’s touches had been demanding but gentle. Hungry but sensual. Physically titillating yet emotionally arousing, as well.
For the first time since Rex, she really yearned to be with a man. And he was just a room away….
She ached to share her problems, confess the truth, let him comfort her. And she wanted to comfort him.
She wanted his hands on her, his lips on her; she wanted to make love to him. And with Johnny, she sensed it would be making love.
Not like the rough, awkward, forced sex with Rex.
Suddenly exhausted, she dried her eyes, blew her nose, then stared at herself in the mirror. Once upon a time, she’d considered herself a smart woman. She’d had aspirations. Career goals.
Then her parents had died and she’d been grief-stricken and lost and fallen for Rex’s charms.
She had made such a mess of her life.
Frustrated, she pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle another cry. She had to figure out a way to stop Rex from coming after her and Kenny.
But short of killing the man herself, she didn’t know how that was possible.
Besides, at one time she’d considered nursing, helping people. She was not a killer.
If he hurt Kenny, you could do it.
Yes, she had no doubt about that. But she didn’t intend to give him the opportunity.
A headache pulsed behind her eyes, and she crawled into bed, pulled the covers over her and closed her eyes. Johnny was only a few feet away; she could sleep knowing she and her son were safe for at least tonight.
Johnny said that Brody was hiring extra security. If Rex showed up, they’d catch him.
But even as she tried to fall asleep, the scent of Rex’s cologne haunted her and she couldn’t totally relax. Her ex was cunning enough to sneak past whatever extra security Brody hired. Was mean enough to hurt anyone to get to her.
Was slick enough to charm his way past reporters and judges and make her look like an unfit mother.
And she couldn’t stand for Kenny—or Johnny—to see her like that.
JOHNNY REMOVED HIS STETSON and boots and stretched out on the sofa, his mind ticking over the conversation with Rachel.
He wished to hell he could fix her problems. Wished she didn’t have an ex who still obviously wanted her, and that the bastard had never hurt her.
Because he wanted her with a vengeance himself. Her lips, her body, her husky sigh had made him feel more potently sexy than he’d felt in years. Maybe ever.
But he wanted more than sex. He wanted to make her happy, to take care of her…
He lurched to a sitting position, shocked at that thought. Johnny Long had been a rodeo playboy.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that his lifestyle had been a facade to make up for the bad childhood and the low self-esteem his sorry daddy had pounded into him as a kid. No, he’d done some major soul searching after the incident with Gwen and figured all that out on his own. The girls, the money, the victories, the glory…all to try to fill the void he’d felt growing up.
All to seek approval.
But it had backfired in the end.
Rachel was the real deal. He didn’t want her as a trophy girl or to add her to the notches on his bedpost.
He cared about her. She was sweet, vulnerable, beautiful and a devoted mother, and she stirred emotions that he’d never felt for another woman.
He needed more time to gain her trust and make her feel safe. But first, he had to find this bastard Rex and force him to disappear from her life.
He’d consult with Leon again. Instead of investigating Rachel, he’d ask him to track down her ex.
His mind made up, he finally closed his eyes and fell asleep.
But in the middle of the night, a noise startled him awake. He tensed and sat up, then automatically reached for his gun, but remembered he’d left it locked in his truck because of the kids on the ranch.
His heart pounding, he searched the darkness. The wind whistled outside. A sliver of moonlight wove its way through the sheer curtains, painting shadows along the walls of the den, and a tree branch scraped the window outside.
The noise sounded again. A low moan? A cry? A sob? Then a thud.
Kenny? Rachel?
He stood, scanning the room and listening for the direction of the noise.
Rachel’s room.
Anger coiled inside him as he inched toward her room. If her ex had shown up, he’d catch him red-handed. And he’d beat him till the jerk swore he’d leave her alone.
Braced for a fight, he crept toward her room, then eased the door open just a fraction of an inch. Another low sob, a cry, echoed through the air.
He narrowed his eyes, squinting through the darkness, searching for an intruder, but there was no one inside.
No one except Rachel. She was twisting and turning on the bed, tangled in the covers, sobbing.
“Please, no, stop…don’t hurt him…”
Johnny’s throat thickened with compassion and anger. Shoulders tense, he strode into the room, then lowered himself on the bed beside her. Knowing she was in the midst of a nightmare, he gently brushed her hair away from her cheek, but it was damp from her tears, and through the moonlight bathing her face, he noticed her eyes were red and puffy.
His stomach clenched. Johnny Long had always been a sucker for a woman’s tears. And this woman’s were real.
Well aware she was in the midst of some horrid memory, he gently stroked her cheek. “Rachel?”
She rolled sideways, burying her face in the pillow as if she wanted to hide herself—or her tears.
What had that SOB done to her?
Using the pad of his thumb, he stroked her cheek again. “Rachel, shh, it’s okay. You and Kenny are safe now.”
She moaned, a gut-wrenching sound that shattered the last remnants of his restraint, and he stretched out on the mattress beside her and cradled her in his arms.
She opened her eyes for a brief moment and stared up at him, her slender body quivering against him. Her gaze looked foggy, confused, tormented. Then she seemed to register who he was and she clamped her teeth over her bottom lip.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
He stroked her back, rubbing slow soothing circles. “Shh, honey. Just go back to sleep. Everything’s going to be all right.”
She clutched his arms and buried her head against him, and he held her tight, savoring her sultry scent and sweetness. “I won’t let anything hurt you or Kenny, Rachel. I promise.”
She nodded against his chest, and finally relaxed and curled up against him.
Images of the two of them entwined after a long night of lovemaking stirred in his head. Maybe one day they could be together like that.
But tonight he’d be content to si
mply hold her.
RACHEL SLOWLY ROUSED from sleep, cocooned in Johnny’s arms. His heady masculine scent permeated the air, obliterating memories of Rex’s suffocating smell, and his strong arms and firm body wound around hers made her feel safe and loved.
Her pulse clamored, though, as reality set in.
Someone had set fire to the dining hall, and she and Kenny had almost died.
She snuggled against Johnny for another second, savoring the sanctity she’d found during the night. But she could not get used to Johnny taking care of her.
Rex would kill him to hurt her, and she couldn’t live with his death on her conscience.
She slowly extricated herself from his embrace, but just as she slid to the edge of the mattress, Johnny caught her arm.
“Where are you going?”
Rachel sucked in a trembling breath, then faced him, her heart in her throat. “Kenny’s in the other room. I…don’t want him to find us in bed together.”
Johnny’s eyes flickered with a myriad of emotions she didn’t understand. “Nothing happened, Rachel.”
“I know,” she said softly, although kissing Johnny had been more intimate and fulfilling than any sex with Rex had ever been. “But still…”
“I understand.” He swung his legs over the side and stood, then looked at the grandfather clock against the far wall. “I need to get going, anyway.”
“And I need to get dressed for work.” The memory of the fire nagged at her, though. “What about the dining hall and kitchen? The damage won’t force you to shut down?”
“We’re not shutting down. The damage was contained to one area of the dining hall and the section of the kitchen near the pantry. Brody was going to have a cleanup crew work during the night.” He eased himself toward the den door and she followed, her heart racing as he yanked on his boots and retrieved his Stetson.
Simply watching the big cowboy do those two things seemed somehow intimate and made her wonder what it would be like to wake up every morning with Johnny. They’d make love at night or maybe in the early hours of the morning before Kenny woke up, and she’d lie in his arms and feel his chest rising and falling against her own.